Wanting conversations to end

I want conversations to end quickly. More specifically: I want conversations to end quickly with people I don't know. Why? Because these conversations can go wrong in many ways. I could say something stupid, I could act cringe or say something I didn't mean that way.

The shorter the chat is, the less chance it has to spiral out of my control. It sometimes feels like a conversation out of a Bethesda game, where I can choose the wrong dialogue option and trigger a bad outcome.

I don't even listen to what the person is saying exactly. I just think about what to say next to move to a satisfying conclusion. Of course I evaluate if the discourse was successful or if I failed after I talked to someone.

This is why I seldom initiate conversations myself. Most of the time I have just something to lose and nothing to gain from it.

There are people who need a closer connection to someone to have a flowing conversation and don't overthink every step of the way. It is the polar opposite when I talk with my friends. Then I can brabble on and on and not even think about it. The expectations they have are clear. I can predicat how they will react to my spoken words.