Balance vs. Focus

I have the tendency to throw all my ambitions and resolutions overboard if another topic/thing fully captivates me. I strive for balance in my life. I feel best when my day is split up in many small activities that do not fully consume me. This works for some time until something enters my life that leaves all the other plans in the dust. It's like a switch is flipped. I get tunnel vision and let it consume me. That can be a new hobby, a specific interest or a video game.

During the years I noticed that I have a balanced operation mode and a hyperfocus mode. These two switch regularly. During the balanced operation mode I can feel boredom (which is not a bad thing) and take mild enjoyment out of my daily tasks. In the hyperfocus mode I get maximum enjoyment out of something. I want to extend this feeling and will read about my new interest or watch videos about it. Other tasks feel dull and unsatisfying. Daily chores can be ignored.

It's like my mind gets starved for dopamine during the balanced operation mode and waits for something to trigger my obsession so it can get some of that dopamine back. When I switch from the hyperfocus mode back to the balanced operation mode I feel somewhat relieved because the balanced operation mode is more peaceful and not as exhausting.

The regular switch between these two is a balancing act in itself. The consistency is the switch between these two modes. Maybe the balance lies there, to pull back from the hyperfocus mode when the time is right. I don't know yet if this behavior is good or bad for me in the end.